SAE NY Honors Bob Crosby '65
By Peter Heylin '65

Dear Brothers:

A few months ago, I received an email from Terry Boone. Terry runs the Virtual Wall website, which is dedicated to the memory of Swift Boat and other Americans who died in Vietnam.

Our 40th Reunion in 2005 was dedicated to Bob Crosby, and Terry's website enabled us to find several Vietnam and high school friends of Bob's.

Together, we put together both the very meaningful dedication exhibit in the dining hall at Hillcrest. Bob's Swift Boat flag is flanked by an SAE flag and a Cornell flag with his plaque is below. We also raised more than $50,000 for the Crosby Memorial Fund to help kick off the rebuilding project at Hillcrest.

Back to recent history: Terry called me. He is placing special permanent medallions on the graves of Swift Boat guys who were killed in Vietman and was having trouble finding graves. He asked for our help. I asked class of '65 brothers and although John Sharpe and Bob Matthews both answered that they had attended the ceremony 40 years ago, they could only recall that it was near Bob's home in South Hamilton.

I checked the old obituary and found Bob's old address which I "reverse directory" searched and got a phone number. I called, and Marylou Groessbeck answered. She didn't know the Crosbys, but she did know Bob's story and wanted to help. Long story short: We found the grave and Terry affixed the medallion during a celebration on Memorial Day 2009. The celebration included several of Bob's friends from elementary school, Lenox School, and NYA SAE (Nick Wilder, Tony Anderson, and Frank McGuire from '65).

Phi Alpha!
Peter (or as you guys seem to say, "Pete") Heylin

A Letter To Brother Robert L. Crosby '65
From the New York Alpha News, Spring 2005

Sorry, Bob. We all know this story should have been written 35 years ago. That was when most of your SAE brothers heard that you had been killed in 'Nam. Something about getting shot by accident during a routine Swift Boat training mission.

We all felt the tragedy. You were one of our favorites. It might be said that you were the only one of our pledge brothers to absolutely get along with everyone at all times, to be liked and loved by all. You were smart, you were loyal, you were patient, you were funny. I can still picture you at the infamous square dance party on Spring Weekend 1964, the one that the House wanted to back out of because word got out on campus that SAE was doing a ding-a-ling thing like a square dance. The one where the Kopff brothers, led by Papa Milo Kopff playing a six-foot-tall, coffin-like wooden box by brushing it with steel wool, made some real knee-slappin' music. The one where Sharpie stirred his screwdriver with a cigar. And there you were, regaled in a flowing white sheet, either as a Roman or Jesus we guessed, and you flew around the dining hall dance floor like a spinning orchid bird. What fun!

Your class of 1965 will be having its 40th reunion in a few months. The five-gallon tins may be dragged out for the milk punch. We'll try to get Germy to chug the "Pais Is Nice" trophy again. Or maybe Tones will recite us some real hip Blake. Or Jim Staid could tell one of his soap opera-like Montana tales like the fishing story: one hour and fifteen minutes, minimum, and all it amounted to was that a fish he caught got maggots. We'll remember things, like when we all went out to Cunningham's on the Lake and heard that new "She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" British group for the first time; bare-handedly moving the gravel around in the driveway; B.M.O.R.'s; our green Ale Man jackets; driving up Triphammer and hearing that President Kennedy had been shot; hustler Tony T as the master of the half-inch jump that made playing pool on the house's cracked slate more like a game of chance or an exercise in trigonometry.

But that pool table served us well. Can you recall 260-pound Mickey Trimberger lying on it dead under a sheet during the solemn chapter eternal part of the initiation ceremony? You could see his stomach jiggling and hear his tiny squeals of repressed laughter. We knew credit was due to every EA who kept a straight face through that! Do you remember when my Dad--an SAE brother--put the pin on me? The best of times was made even better because we all had a brother like you.

And now, in June, we're going to return to revisit a few of those memories and reattach some bonds. And Croser, you will be there in more than spirit. The flag from your boat, PCF 21, bullet-holed and frayed from the patrols you made in An Thoi Province, will be framed and presented to the chapter along with a generous gift in your name. With this gift, our class of 1965 will kick off the most ambitious rebuilding project in Hillcrest's history-a total and necessary renovation to be completed by our 50th reunion in 2015. And we'll sing "Violets and Her Loveliness" and maybe "A Horse's Ass." We'll check out our old rooms. We'll laugh and cry and make promises to stay closely in touch that we'll hope to keep. And if we're lucky, maybe we'll see that orchid bird whirling around us.

Phi Alpha, brother,
Peter Heylin '65
pelican2001@sbcglobal.net

Honoring Bob Crosby at the Vietnam Unit Monument Memorial

Click here to download the winter 2009 "Reflections" newsletter about the Vietnam Unit Monument Memorial. For more information, visit their website at www.vummf.org.